Yep, tables turn and her most recent response to you was:
Her response - "I befriended someone because you were a lousy husband. I slept with him after the marriage was over.I don't have a drinking problem"
She followed up with "I don't want you back...you cold heartless selfish person"
LET HER GO. Let her have her FREEdom in spades! Do a total 180 and GAL your bum off. Be a good dad to your kids. She will be weirded out when you are acting independent, not fawning all over her, she will think, What has gotten into him?
If she wants to drink herself to death and shag other men -- not your problem!
