Thanks for weighing in Albuquerque. I'm really wrestling with this, and probably will be for the next few days.
I think you are right about the "cake eating," but in this case I don't think that is all there is to it. Based on a previous conversation H & I had about a week or two ago, I read his "doesn't mean anything" comment to mean he hasn't made a decision regarding our R or coming home - not that he doesn't care about me. One thing I am sure of, and I really do mean sure of, is that H loves me.
Me too Zen. And no one knows for sure, but I can tell you I THOUGHT I did, I was very sure, about a lot of stuff. You are right, the intimacy will keep a connection. You seem strong and aware. So did I. Honey, I'm not saying your not, but PLEASE make sure you are really tuned into your internal voice (the 'whisper' as I call it).
Originally Posted By: hope for zen
As far as OW, I am sure that H has someone else on some level. How far it has gone, I can't be sure. I have to assume the worst though. I'm a big girl, and I know how to protect myself from an STD. Protecting me emotionally will be much more difficult, but right now I feel ok. Really ok. For now.
You do seem to be far more aware of where you are mentally and emotionally than I was. My background story played into the dynamic for me too. Feel free to read my threads for my perspective on how this played out ...
Please, just be careful ... and good luck to you
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
