I think, IMHO that the old Relationship, Marriage, whatever has to absolutely die, dead, no pulse for both the MLCer and the LBS for the MLCer to start to look at "Life" again.
IMHO, I also believe that PRIDE plays a huge role here. Maybe it's just in my stich but I believe that an MLCer who has never been able to put pride aside would end up "making it work" as outlined in the last sentence below....
Quote:
Though the latter may be true, it is not so in all circumstances, and the idea that the affair will not continue beyond Separation is misleading. The affair can continue through Liminality, but the nature of the relationship will change. The fantasy woman let her guard down and revealed herself; instead of infatuated, the MLCer may now feel trapped or stuck. Since he’s destroyed everything else in his life, he might as well suffer through it and make this last thing work"
In short, this should remind us LBSers why it is so important NOT to tell the world what is going on with our MLC spouses. It really does create another issue for the MLCer to have to face.
I also believe that as Missher posted you really must let completely go! AND this as we all know is the hardest thing to do.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
