Congratulations on having and following a very pro-active strategy. I say this because of one of the other recent posts which seemed to question the wisdom of your approach, suggesting that they had more insight into your husband's motives than anyone could possibly have. This post also seems to suggest that you are just letting things happen to you rather than purposefully following a strategy.
To me - from your report of the evening - it sounds like you used the strategy of acting as if perfectly. Think of all the different ways you could have ruined the evening and acted contrary to your own goals. Yet, you chose and followed the one approach most likely to allow the evening to go well and thereby contribute to your goals.
I don't know what your husbands state of mind is or what his motives are. I don't know what he really does or doesn't do. No one can and no one does. All of us know there are many possibilities. Yet, when it's said and done, your strategy and approach has the potential to work no matter what those possibilities are.
I respect the fact you were able to let the evening evolve and find out where your H would go when you weren't pursuing. If he had just come through the door and wanted to have sex, that would be one thing. But when you look at the overall context of the evening, your approach to the situation, and the overall trend lines - there is reason to believe you are making progress. Remember - as many of the success testimonials on this website will tell you - this is a process, not an instant event.
Before this birthday, you were having a bit of a low. Yet - you collected yourself and approached this evening with a plan. You pro-acted rather than re-acted. And how did this work for you, for your goals?
