Oh please please please communicate what you vented to Dan. He needs to get some clue of how rude, inconsiderate, and basically downright abusive he is being.
Whether it's by text, or snail mail, or email - Actually, probably not email, people use that too much to say 'difficult' things - please get the message to him. I know it's easier to keep the peace for the good of the kids, but (and I'm projecting my own sitch here) you'll have great difficulty moving on and (if you want to) have a healthy relationship with someone who treats you (and themselves) with respect and love.
As an observer I would take out the more emotional parts of your message and combine it with TH's message to read something similar to this:
"You know what, Dan? It's NOT okay. We have our children and that means we will always be dealing with each other but enough is enough. I am not accepting your rudeness and abusive outbursts any more. Unless you can address me with respect and civility, do not contact me at all."
Or something like that. Word it so that you would be proud to have it read out in court. He is so out of line it's not even slightly amusing.
I know how hard it is to detach. I can see many similarities in our sitches. I think it's why I follow along with you and have done so for aagges. I just think it's wrong that he has no 'stupid filter' that makes him think he can unload on you whenever things don't go his way. At least mine (h) appears to have gotten over that 'spewage'.
Hugs to you you wonderful woman
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
