2 years later it's still not getting easier

[awest1217]

whitneypinch - I just read parts of your thread and it really resonated with me because I am the same way with my H. We will be D'd officially on Jan 13. I filed because he continually said he didn't want to be my H, but didn't want to file either. He said he wanted the family, but not the marriage. I finally filed when I got a postcard from his travel agent that was a thank you for booking a trip and it was addressed to H and OW sent to my house.

Anyway, that is the short of my story, but what I like about what I am reading with you is that I am also very "friendly" with my H. We will text about S all the time. We even spend S's birthday together and went to a college football game together because I didn't want to miss out on S's first game. It is always hard for me because H and I get along great, and I can't understand why he doesn't want to make it work.

Saying that, I did last night set a boundary for H and I. He wants to bring up sentimental things every once in a while and be buddy-buddy with me. I told him that it had to stop because it hurts me too much. He will go a week of talking almost every day and other weeks of nothing. I said I will talk to him every day about S and do things with him and S, but beyond being good coparents, I don't want to know anything else. We will still get along great, but there is a boundary that I don't want to cross because it hurts me, and I think it is only when H is being ignored by OW (she is still married).

I completely understand what you are going through and glad to feel some support through your post. S has a great D life in that H and I work together all the time, and it sounds like that you what you are doing too. I wish you the best.

missing - I also like what you put. I would still help H out if he needed help and he will do the same for me, but I won't be responsible for him anymore. I agree with always loving your spouse. I will listen to H when he talks about work or wants to vent, but I draw the line at talking about sentimental things like how the watch that I got him for our anniversary broke.