You are talking through things and not reacting on emotions and that is good. I wish I could tell you how to get off the rollercoaster, but sometimes it is just unavoidable, sounds like now might be one of those times.

Hang in there, will say some prayers for you.
I know this is hard

M39 W41
Two children
WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09
Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10
No longer piecing...Nov 10
Separation Jan 11
EA ends again Feb 11
Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11