the past few weeks, i have noticed myself change in some respects or be more me. i have always loved my job, but even more so now, i feel as though i am forging stronger relationships with my students and having more fun.
i must thank them today for just being them and brightening my life.
i no longer worry about decisions i make with h in mind, gee maybe i am detaching, that would be great since he does not want me or love me, his shame. still hurts but whatever.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
me and the kids have been plugging along. with being so faitigued, i am glad no soccer on sat's anymore and we have been so exhaused to go to church.
i exercised twice, ended up unable to walk with joint pain in hip,.
i have been going over this question in my head for a while: is it better for d and s to see their mom/dad together doing things,(giving them a false sense of security of family) or not have any social outings with h?
immediate timeframe, thinking it is ok, but like most children d3 wants mommy/daddy together. she still believes we are 'together'.
thinking of the long term of what i want my children to learn from situation, what values to carry over into their adulthood.
h again has stated he would prefer somone else to watch kids during the day while i work. i said awesome, you can pay for it. of course no comment.
since d3 has been a peer model at school, some concerns came up about her speech, so she is being tested.
let the teachers know, (she attends school with me) that h has a habit of coming and going in her life and it would be a matter of time before he goes out on the lamb.
it is extremely upsetting of what i want to show my kidos. i want them to believe that most mom/dad live together, kiss hug, argue and still are there for one another each day. i want them to not have the attitude similiar to my d18 who has some social problems.
h doesn't think linearly, he is a this second this moment...
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
d3 keeps asking her father to go with us places. should i allow him to join so she can see mom/dad in fake family? do i cut it off so she is not feeling mom/dad are together if we do things together. she grabs both our hands to walk with us from school.
i'm looking in the long term. i know it will be a matter of time before h leaves the sitch and all contact with d3, how do i keep her sense of security, not a fake one
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
