I let H go last Jan(filed for legal separation). Since then he made monumental strides to change-became very involved with the kids,helpful around the house, upbeat and happy around me.
It took me a long time-til Sept-to begin to trust those changes. I got a glimpse at a kind of life I would like for me-a supportive nurturing family environment where I wasn`t left trying to keep everything going.
I`d be happy with that.
As soon as I showed H that I was wavering on going ahead with the S, he went back into his shell.
Its like he needs my rejection to get him interested in me and being part of the family.
I don`t know if I over analyse. I`ll subject that observation to further analysis....
But I do panic. Not visibly to H-I was calm when he said he was thinking about moving out before Xmas.
But he said that last year too. Like he`s trying to upset me(and it certainly did then).The mediator(H had been pursuing separation at the time and insisted we go to mediation) and I persuaded him to change his mind.
I should have let him go.
I need to remind myself of that.
I need to let him go for ALL the reasons above.
He just wants me to make the decision("DO you want me to leave before or after Xmas?")
He is back to leaving all the work for me to do in the house. He is doing NOTHING.I have three kids,a full time job and a lot of running to do in the evening with the kids activities. Just through in the added worry of the kids having a bomb dropped on them in a couple of weeks. I don`t need this.
