i apologize for being vague and just leaving it out there.

what usually happens is that posters will post questions for me to answer. i answer honestly and with effort .. and then they disappear and don't follow up.

i've learned that people don't stick with your thread. i guess i assumed you would too. i'll hear from you for maybe a week and then i never hear from you again. and after all that .. i will have bared my soul .. it's all out there and no follow up.

the only poster who has stuck by me was forrest. so i usually answer his posts as honestly and i will make an effort to dig deep. most people don't like his style of posting but i get it.

i consider forrest a great teacher. he has taught me quite a bit.

that's actually why my posts to "random advice givers" are vague and black-or-white.

i am sorry if i made that assumption about you. i honestly didn't expect you to give me advice or even take the time to do so. i'm just used to people stopping by for a post or two and then disappear.

i did suspect that my h was lurking. i found out about these boards through him. i saw the words "divorce busting" scribbled on a piece of paper (his handwriting) on his desk one day after the bomb had been dropped.

so i tend to be vague and leave stuff out in case he is following my thread. i've left out some critical notes because of it. but in general, i came here to see what db-ing was all about. i read the books. i was skeptical. i knew how angry my h was.

i know that the great vets here have tried to convince me that my h is hurt and that i'm not listening. but my h is a different beast. he hasn't waivered, hasn't softened, and has shown no remorse. i learned today, that my h is still whining about how financially unfair the divorce process is for him. the vets say it's not about the money .. but from where i'm sitting and what i'm seeing, i can see how important money is to my h.

i haven't been able to figure out why he had the words "divorce busting" written down but i suspect that someone tipped him off and said she could be doing this - learn the techniques so you don't fall for her scheme.

i could be imagining things. but i've been guarded about stuff. there is no PM here which makes it hard for me. i want to be open and honest but i'm guarded.

anyway, i will try to put together a note that hopefully addresses everything from the last few posts you made. if you disappear, i will understand.