online dating tips, do-over

[flowmom]

I agree with soleil, just date them all and then make a decision on which one gets to stay longest. I have never dated more then one person at a time either but I plan to get real good at it! No sexy time, of course, until I agree to be "exclusive" with someone.

I agree with this approach as well. In fact, some dating advice blogs that I read seem to consider this an unspoken understanding: people who are dating should be assumed to be dating multiple people unless there has been a conversation about exclusivity. Having said that, you don't rub someone's nose in it if you're dating someone else. It's tactful to concentrate on the person who you're with at the time.

Interestingly, I found that guys assumed that I *wasn't* dating others (when I was) even though they themselves had entanglements (which they were trying to get rid of to concentrate on me ). That did cause a bit of surprise and disappointment on their part, but really, they made unreasonable assumptions and didn't communicate about them. I did take responsibility for narrowing down to one guy when things got to the point when juggling wasn't working for me or them (which happened pretty quickly). That was super hard. I ended up dumping a guy who I really liked and it didn't feel resolved. But when the guy who I chose didn't work out, the guy who I dumped appeared the scene the next day and we're now enjoying "seeing" one another. So even an "embarassment of riches" can work out in the end (but stressful at the time).

My advice is don't waste time on long distance relationships. Yes they can work out, but they can also consume a huge amount of energy and focus, which will bring more rewards if used in real life.