No sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night. Not even sure why I stayed in bed except I didn't know where to go or what to do. Anxiety, panic, sadness, grief, guilt. Someday I won't feel so bad, right?
Right, some day you won't feel the raw pain that you are dealing with right now. If I say nothing else to help you....I hope you will believe that much.
What you are experiencing from your actions is actually needed. If we didn't go through this horrible consequences and if the pain went away too fast.....then we might not stick to our resolve to never go down that path again.
You will get through this. You will always regret it. But, you will get to the place where you can grow and move forward.
If you are having panic attacks, then you need to see your doctor. I know how it feels. There were times that I thought I was going crazy. Maybe it is the guilt eating away, IDK, but there comes a point that you may need to seek help from your doctor. If your health begins to break then you could have serious problems all the way around.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Yes, SoA, Sandi is absolutely right. I went through times when it felt like my head was going to explode from the panic and pain. Pure unadulterated grief and self-loathing. You will get through this. We know you will -- hang in there!
P.S. Elliptical
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
So...one of my dearest friends just talked to my husband's closest friend and she swore she wasn't digging for details. She was just letting this guy say whatever he said without asking questions. She just listened. (I hope she's being honest about that)
She said my husbands friend said that my husband is very angry right now, and that he knows that my husband has every intention of following thru with the divorce, but he would not be surprised if someday my husband and I got remarried.
Of course, I'm getting my hopes up a little. Don't worry, I won't call, text, email or anything like that.
bump this.....
Sandi and Busto: Thanks for your kind words and your wisdom. It's always appreciate.
Again no sleep last night. I have seen my doc about the panic attacks. I have a prescription now, but I hate the idea of getting hooked on xanax. I took one last night, and again, no sleep. Oh well. I'm gonna keep on trucking.
Hang in there. Exercise will help, as well as cutting out any stimulants like tobacco or caffeine. Try not to eat too close to bed time either, and stay away from booze.
You'll be amazed in a month. You'll wonder how you survived, and you'll feel so much stronger. Hang on. You can handle this.
Again no sleep last night. I have seen my doc about the panic attacks. I have a prescription now, but I hate the idea of getting hooked on xanax. I took one last night, and again, no sleep. Oh well. I'm gonna keep on trucking.
Going night after night without sleep is dangerous. Be sure you tell your doctor everything. I understand about not wanting to rely upon meds, but sometime we have to do it. Doesn't mean you'll always have to take it, but for now the sleep and advoiding panic attacks is important.
I'm so glad you are sticking with the board. You are gaining a good group of supporters. Having found these friends on the DB board is a gift. I feel like some are old friends and don't know where I might have been without them. Some day you will paying it forward & helping newcomers. Until then, you soak up all the support & love that you can get, b/c it does help the healing process.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
SoA, Hang in there. I know the feelings are so overwhelming. What helped me the absolute most was running on pavement. The elliptical used to be my exercise of choice but when this hit, I needed to focus the pain. Running on pavement did that for me. I couldn't run more than 1.5 minutes when I first started. Now I run a 5k every other morning. Couch to 5K on my IPOD did the trick.
Regarding the panic attacks... I have suffered from them for years. Anti-depressants have been the only thing to save me from them.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
"I took one last night, and again, no sleep." Have you tried Melatonin. It's non-prescription.
Unfortunately, I have a medical condition that makes Melatonin a no-no for me. I did try Tylenol PM last night. I did sleep til 5 am, which is 2 and a half hours earlier than I like to get out of bed, but it's better than no sleep.
I was running on milkshakes,poptarts and only a few hours of sleep a night in the beginning of my sitch. Now I get plenty of sleep and eat normally. There was a time that I realised I needed vitamins because I was not eating. After about 6 months I realised that I was more impotant than what my wife had "done to me." Exercise is a great thing because it will make you tired enough that you will sleep and it will bring back your appetite. We have all been there SoAsh and YOU will make it
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Hey SOA. Hope you're good today. I recommend chammomile tea before you go to bed. It's natural and does make me sleep better.
Found an article for you to check out...
Feeling Guilty After Your Divorce? What Does It Mean?
If you’re feeling guilty after your divorce, the usual feelings may be intensified. While most people typically feel anger, pain, sadness, depression and more – you may feel even worse because you have guilt eating away at you. So, what does the guilt mean and what can you do about it? This article discusses feeling guilty after your divorce, what it means and how you can use that guilt in a constructive way.
Typically, we feel guilty when we have done something wrong or in the case of divorce, when we have done something to our ex spouses that contributed to the divorce or was the complete cause of the divorce. In this case, it can be really difficult to get over the guilt and move on, but it can be done. The first things you need to do is think of the reason you’re feeling guilty. What did you do or what did you say that is making you feel guilty now? Think of the thing you have done and then accept it. This is very important – you need to accept the fact that you did whatever it was you did so that you can move on with your life. Next, you need to realize that everyone makes mistakes and that you are human. Now, you need to take the thing that you’re feeling guilty over and use it to improve your life. Perhaps you cheated on your spouse or maybe you didn’t have enough communication in your marriage and this contributed to the downfall of your marriage. Whatever it was, recognize it and do something to work on it. For instance, you could get some counseling or therapy to teach you how to be more communicative so that this will not happen in the future. You can use your negative and guilty feelings to improve your future by preventing the same things from happening again.
If you cheated on your spouse, think of the real reason you cheated – perhaps you were insecure in your spouse’s love for you and you needed the validation of how valuable you are that cheating brings. Counseling and therapy can help you feel more secure in yourself. If you were angry, perhaps you need anger management classes. Whatever it is, it can be fixed.
When you think of your guilt and the reasons it was caused, you can either drown in the negative feelings or you can be proactive and positive – preventing yourself from getting into the same situation again. No matter what it was that you’ve done, there is a way to work on it in order to make yourself better and more knowledgeable. Guilt can often feel very bad but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Use it for your power and for a better future.
