John I never thought about it but I am sure that is probably a big part of why I want to hang out with someone (I miss the affection/banter/partnership) but I don't want a serious relationship. I have heard a song "Half of My Heart" and I don't know exactly what it is about, but I do believe that I have only got half of my heart to give anyone else bc Dan has the other half.
I don't know how to turn the switch to 'off', how to stop loving him and caring about him. However I vacillate so often because I am a smart enough woman to know that I shouldn’t still love him like I do…
I could go on and on, it never stops. The back-and-forth in my head. ... accepting that the R is gone and will never come back, there is a voice in my head that screams “NO!!!” and it’s like I am fighting with myself…I know, it sounds dumb.
Gosh, I can relate to all of that BBJ. When you wish you didn't love someone like how you do. Annoying.
I will echo the other posters here --cut your time down with Dan as much as possible. Only involve co-parenting with him. You will absolutely not be able to detach if you are in constant communication with him.
That part about him telling you that you have made him lose his faith in women is BS. I think that's his conscience coming out. He's trying to justify what he did and doing this sort of reverse psychology on you so that his decision feels better to him. Maybe he says that because you finally let go (agreeing to D) and he thought you'd always be there, taking whatever he threw at you, including carrying on with OW. It's backwards as hell.
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
Obviously, the women he's with are the trustworthy kind. But he's such an emotional abuser like most of them, it's always someone else's fault no matter what.
As for being done and moving on...it'll happen with time and in a gradual progression. I don't think anyone could wake up one morning and go 'ok I'm done as of today, let's go hunting for my next long term R'.
