Because i believe even though what she was doing was wrong, she really was just friends with him, if she is truly happy with me there will only be friendships with other people.
Then you are in denial. I believe you want to "think" this....but deep down you know better. It's fear that has you by the b@lls and until you get to the place that you can face your fear of losing her, then we can't really help you. I'm not being ugly, I'm just stating facts.
I was a WAW in an EA. It is very, very serious. Any man who tries to talk himself into believing it's just a friendship--is a man whose W is going to wipe poop all over him.
So, come to grips with yourself. You will not fall over dead if this comes to a D. Which is better, to be a doormat she doesn't respect, or a man who establishes respect with himself, his children, and community?
Listen to my words here, a woman cannot be in love with a man she doesn't respect. That is how she is wired! You must have her respect FIRST. You won't have her respect until you respect yourself, so that is where you need to start.
About the children.....remember you are being a role model. I can't believe you would ask your D if she wanted to know what her mother had been doing! You did that out of anger but it was a low thing to do just to try and hurt your W. Do you want your D to marry a man like you? Do you want your D to be a woman like your W? You are showing her what a M looks like. Your children need to see a father who leads his family in high moral conduct. They need to see a father who is confident and who will protect them. I'm sure they must be scared right now. They need your support and comfort b/c they don't understand why their parents have gone crazy. They have to have a dad who is strong for them.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
