WAW,,, wow

[Pensacolabroken]

Greek,

good approach, and that is how I will approach it. She has a class tomorrow.. I should address this tonight.

TH, you didnt miss anything, she chose NOT to go last night and that was a big step for her to intiate R / M talk and I told her I appreciated it. Now I need to enforce the NC boundary.

I like the fully support the TKD how can I help help support her with this inside the marriage?"

[Pensacolabroken]

Just spoke to WAW. She said OK. I can go on nights he doesnt go and if I do see him I will tell you.

not quite NC...

[TimeHeals]

Just spoke to WAW. She said OK. I can go on nights he doesnt go and if I do see him I will tell you.

How is she going to see him if she's abiding by no contact?

What did you say about this?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Is that the only TKD studio where you live?

[ShockedOne]

That is not a NC plan. You do not put yourself intentionally in a place that OM is known to possibly be at.

[TimeHeals]

I like to play "flip this script" to imagine how it plays out.

Let's see, I have some kind of affair with a woman at a martial arts studio.

My wife says she is done, wants me out, she's not putting up with it anymore.

I say (for some unstated reason), it's over between me and her, and I will not see her anymore, but...

I am going to same martial arts studio when she is not there, but if she is there I will tell you.

My wife says...?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Does it matter what she says, before or after she kicks your pocket mouse?

[lostandconfused6]

Tell her that you need her to find a different TKD studio or you are not R and really stick to it and mean it. Be prepared for her to say no, but think of it this way- you know that she is somewhat interested in R so if she says "no" it is probably not the last that you will hear from her. If she continues to go to that TKD place, I can almost garruntee that she will not fully break if off with him. My husband told me the same thing when he was willing to work on the marriage. He would just avoid seeing the OW at their mutual work place. Supposedly this would be pretty easy for him to do. But this plans lasted one week. As soon as they got back around each other, his motivation to work on the marriage fell apart.

[Starsky309]

Tell her that you need her to find a different TKD studio or you are not R and really stick to it and mean it. Be prepared for her to say no, but think of it this way- you know that she is somewhat interested in R so if she says "no" it is probably not the last that you will hear from her. If she continues to go to that TKD place, I can almost garruntee that she will not fully break if off with him. My husband told me the same thing when he was willing to work on the marriage. He would just avoid seeing the OW at their mutual work place. Supposedly this would be pretty easy for him to do. But this plans lasted one week. As soon as they got back around each other, his motivation to work on the marriage fell apart.

I've just read about this. Like any addiction (and make no mistake, affairs are HIGHLY addictive), it's physiological. Every contact -- even casual contact, and even NEGATIVE contact (say, a spat), floods the brain with all kinds of endorphines, and sets back your reconciliation efforts.

[TimeHeals]

They keep making the same mistakes.