And she actually blew off her TKD.. that is a huge step and shows to me she IS in... it took a long time to get that action and it is a monitor
You would be wiser to view this as she is embrassed to show her face and needs to let this all blow over so she can walk back in with confidence and an attitude of "if you did not want me so what I still have my husband. you're loss."
People who do the dumping dont carrying on crying. They usually go out and grudge ****. Not seeking comfort and consolation. They have a cockiness about them that they are better than thou. She held this attitude over you for awhile. You can be certain she didnt act one way before you then go to him crying.
Your "monitor" will be how these two interact in the near future. What you should have learned is you wife is a very good liar. Their eye contact, body language, the one that acts like nothing happened, will be your indicator of why the sudden interest in reconcillation.
very good point. I wonder if she will find more reasons not to go to TKD.. if so what does that mean? She is going to go back to TKD and someday down the road they will get involved again? Perhaps she wont go back at all..(that would be best)
In the meantime, she tells me she is committed to making this work.
I need to see and feel the sincerity. I know that. I also agree with the way you describe how she acted towards me. That reminds me to remain cautious and watch for true sincerity. I am not seeing that 100 percent..
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
PERHAPS she won't go back at all???? PB ~ when you tell her no contact with this predator to your marriage and family, you better mean it. That means she can find another place to do whatever TKD is. Or find another hobby. Or something, but going back there would mean contact and that crosses your boundary.
He told her to cool it b/c dating a married woman with children is frankly just a lot of baggage. Is he married, by the way? And going back there would be humiliating and most uncomfortable for her. Maybe he's asked her not to come back - that's a possibility. At any rate, IF she does have contact after NC is agreed upon, you know what to do. And don't let her think there is an inch of wiggle room. Otherwise, she'll be wiggling right out of it. We've seen it here before.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I never said TKD was a boundry. the NC is.. how she accomplishes that is for her to figure out.... she has stated that TKD is non negotiable, she will go and continue her climb to 3-4 level black belt. The day she agreed to my drop him from FB requirement (after 3 weeks) she was at TKD and that was when I walked in and called her on her CB.. she went again Thursday but that was the last time. There is no other TKD studio in our area (within 30 miles) so that is not a possibility.
Your answer is, no he is not married he is divorced with 2 kids. I have called him a wolf at the door to our marriage also. It is possible he told her no, and blew her off.. and that could explain much.. and Steve she may have been the predator.. she gave him her phone number.. he called first.. I have the records to show that...
I am unsure now that she says she is committed to the Marriage to bring up TKD.. If I say no TKD with him there and he wont stop going and she wants to.. it will seem like I am controlling her.. how do I get around that?
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
