Funny I was asked by a divorced woman last night if I would reconcile. I said if the right changes were made, yes I would. She seemed surprised and said she never changed her mind once her D went through. However, she had no kids and was only married a couple of years; now she has been married almost ten years to one of my second cousins and they have two kids. So, that makes a difference in the answer, I think. Although I found it interesting that she said he has crossed paths with her ex only a handful of times in ten years for weddings/funerals of mutual friends. And she said every time she makes sure she gets a new dress and looks gooood. Interesting...
I would have R'ed had he wanted to but that ship sailed.
I have a friend who upon separating from his W (she cheated) said there was no chance in hell. They recently finalized their D, she came to him crying, asking if it's what he really wanted and he told had that had she been honest about the cheating and not lied even after he uncovered it, he would have considered reconciliation--but the fact that she didn't made him want the D even more. He's been dating someone casually since.
I would have R'ed had he wanted to but that ship sailed.
I have a friend who upon separating from his W (she cheated) said there was no chance in hell. They recently finalized their D, she came to him crying, asking if it's what he really wanted and he told had that had she been honest about the cheating and not lied even after he uncovered it, he would have considered reconciliation--but the fact that she didn't made him want the D even more. He's been dating someone casually since.
My x did the same thing. She lied to me even after I told her I knoew about it.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
And she said every time she makes sure she gets a new dress and looks gooood. Interesting...
Cat behavior.
meow, meow.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Weird how the reconcile questions kind of threw me into a funk. When I said the subject is useless because I've seen or heard nothing but cold determination from STBXW another lady at the table told me not to assume I know what is going on in STBXW's head.
Fair enough -- and so today occasionally it's making me wonder what is going on in STBXW's head?
And hopefully that'll end after today because it does me no good.
It's just that .00001 percent of my heart that won't let go stirring itself up again.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Funny I was asked by a divorced woman last night if I would reconcile. I said if the right changes were made, yes I would. She seemed surprised and said she never changed her mind once her D went through. However, she had no kids and was only married a couple of years; now she has been married almost ten years to one of my second cousins and they have two kids. So, that makes a difference in the answer, I think. Although I found it interesting that she said he has crossed paths with her ex only a handful of times in ten years for weddings/funerals of mutual friends. And she said every time she makes sure she gets a new dress and looks gooood. Interesting...
Why is this woman doing this? Two reasons - one is that she is thinking what if he shows up with another woman, I need to be "better" looking than her, it's one big way women keep score (why do women get their girls redone - guys think its funny -its to look better around other cats). When two cats who don't know each other get together how do they act? Women are tough when it comes to commenting on each others appearance. "bless her."
The other reason is she wants her "old" man to notice her and be attracted so she can do what? What would a cat do who walks in a room with it's tail in the air and making noise? The cat runs away when you approach it. The cat whisperer ignores the cat (not really) but lets the cat become interested in him and pursue him (cats love this).
It's just how women behave. A man needs to be aware of how this works. I don't judge just observe and see how it applys to me. This womans current husband needs to be aware at these "meetings" so he can be the man she needs at the time. If he thinks she is dressing up for him and doesn't see it for what it is then beware. This behavior is feeling based and very confusing to men. Dogs v Cats.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Men do feel a stab of jealousy, I can vouch for that and so can Cee Lo with his FU song:
I see you driving 'round town With the girl i love and i'm like, Forget you! Oo, oo, ooo I guess the change in my pocket Wasn't enough and i'm like, Forget you! And forget her too! Said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya Ha, now ain't that some [censored]? (ain't that some [censored]?) And although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a... Forget you! Oo, oo, ooo
Yeah i'm sorry, i can't afford a ferrari, But that don't mean i can't get you there. I guess he's an xbox and i'm more atari, But the way you play your game ain't fair. ...
Women do too but it's a different sort of a jealousy I think, they don't have the sudden urge to go ape-sh*t on the woman
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
