Hey Ebox. I have to leave in about 10 minutes, but your question deserves more time. In short, How did I recognize the problem? Well, I realized we weren't having sex very often. I became a little obsessive and started keeping a private journal with all my grievances, and recorded when we had sex. 7 times in 2001. 5 in 2002. Twice this year. That's easy enough. Now, how have I begun to deal with it? Well, lots of reading. Get the SSM book. Maybe share it with your wife (I haven't done this yet...but it's a goal in 2004). ANother thing I did was get on anti-depressants. They've helped me be a little more relaxed about it. I plan to stay with my wife because we have a daughter who really needs us together. However, I would say that I'm definitely vulnerable to having an affair. I miss the touch and the feeling of being loved that comes from physical intimacy. I may end up getting that elsewhere.
As for the pron...I don't personally have a problem with that. My wife says it objectifies women...which it does, but sometimes you need a little visual to get off...and if she's not going to get you off, then do what you need to do for yourself.
