The only thing that pissed me off is you called me at 3:30am my time and woke me up.
I'm emotionally done. It's pointless. When I'm forced to communicate with her, I'll be nice. Her OCD to get me on the phone last night was excessive. How long do you let your alarm clock go off in your ear before you give in and do something about it?
I have every right to vent on my posts. When I talked with her I was the poster boy of DB. Calm, cool, and collected. Handled it very well. I even tried to break up with someone I'm not with yesterday (As messeed up as that is - that's the best way to describe it). Results - TBD.
Don't challenge me on being a man. I've more than turned myself around in very quick amount of time. I'm still processing a lot of information. Sorry I'm not "Manly" enough in some eyes. Do I give a f*ck? No, I don't. It's my path, my journey, and I'm done with the dysfunction. I can keep going in circles showing my "good light", or I can give her a sense of loss (aka freedom).
My mediator, my DB coach, and some truly great friends will be my help to get through this.
Again, just because I vent on here doesn't always qualify me for a 2x4. It's better to write here than to do something stupid. I should be in a further place, but has there been that much time? Nope
As far as answering her all the time. I don't. I pick and choose when and what is said. I control my interactions. I'm just tired of setting my clock to her patterns and will do anything at this point to break the cycle.
My Life has to move forward. However, I never thought the "Ball and chain" term would apply so well at the end of a relationship.
