One thing thats weird that I don't get is why am I so angry all of a sudden?
I've been depressed and upset and wanting a miracle until yesterday. Once I made the decision I didn't want access to her computer and wanted to know as little as possible I started getting angry. Now I am just filled with anger and disgust.
I am standing up for myself, taking control of my world, and moving on.. but I don't want to be angry all the time anymore than I want to be depressed all the time.
I'm excited to get home and delete all my access to her computer tonight. Also going to be fun because I won't help her with it anymore. Another step to real detachment
When do you ask her to move out?
Does she have family she can live with?
Ask her to live with the OM.
She has been cheating on you with another man and based on the sounds of your last few posts, you're still attached to her and guess what, she's still repelled by you.
One thing thats weird that I don't get is why am I so angry all of a sudden?
I've been depressed and upset and wanting a miracle until yesterday. Once I made the decision I didn't want access to her computer and wanted to know as little as possible I started getting angry. Now I am just filled with anger and disgust.
I am standing up for myself, taking control of my world, and moving on.. but I don't want to be angry all the time anymore than I want to be depressed all the time.
I hope this to is a passing emotion.
You're probably still depressed, get yourself some counseling to deal with the depression, get out of the house, away from your wife, if she like the OM so much, let her have him, you get out and start some social interaction with other women, you will soon find out there are 1000s of women out there perfectly suited for you as well and you won't have to put up with this kind of disrespect on her part.
You've found out about OM, no more snooping now, there is nothing more to find out.
Does she know you know about the OM?
If not confront her, tell her you know about him and that she should be with him and you're hoping she moves out ASAP. Then tell her that instead of asking you for money to get a lawyer, she should ask the OM for money, he can pay for her lawyer, she can get her divorce and then they can be married and EVERYONE will then be happy.
Hey robx - yes she knows I know I've already confronted her about it about 4 weeks ago. - he actually got a gf his own age this weekend ( he's 22 ) - she doesn't know that yet but I do and secretly I can't wait till she figures it out - I am in counseling and yes I am sure I am still depressed to but right now anger and outrage are the ruling emotions - she has no family with in 3000 miles and only one real friend in the area. - other women are already knocking
Judo, your doing well, stick with GAL'ing for now. Make yourself the best that you can be.
Call all credit card companies right away. If they are your accounts, then suspend her cards right away. You pay all the household bills from this point on. Dont give her the money even to do grocery shopping. Pay for all utilities, go buy the groceries on your own. Make it like you are a single parent. This is key. you might have to prove that after she wanted a separation you gave it to her. Recommend that if she plans on living at the home for anylonger than 2 weeks to a month, she needs to have a job to pay part of rent and utilities and buy her own groceries.
She will pull the financial abuse card on you but as long as you can show that you didnt withhold any finances from her, prior to her affair and her choice for a separation, you shouldnt have any worries.
Stay strong, stop talking to her about the money, and just get your financial matters in order and protect yourself.
You know I am reading through the MLC section of DR and I think this fits the pattern more with what she's going through atm.
- Shes pursuing 20 year olds, in particularly young musicians that she wants to be like. - She's obsessed with her appearance and preventing aging. - She's trying to achieve things that you associate with a young person ( musician/band ) an obsession of hers since her teens - She blames me for holding her back, despite my not insisting she work while our son was in school (5 years now) so she could work on it. And the thousands of dollars I spent on instruments, and suggestions of classes, and etc etc. - Obsessed with developing a new wardrobe/look
I don't know what that means really, or if it changes how I should approach this situation. Doesn't seem like it would change a thing.
Just talked to spouse about our son, bills, and credit cards. Maintained my Joe Friday demeanor with a just the facets maam attitude. Made my demands known again about turning over all credit cards and paswords for them and discussed some other business about our son.
Got off the phone... I'm shaky.. my hearts racing.. I hate this.
