Healing takes time…..sometime a long time…..IMO, it just happens and FTR, I also believe that the scares will remain forever. That is not to say that you will not learn how to deal…just that it really does take time.
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Yes I do still love him
Come to grips that you probably always WILL. Sometimes in our anger we want to “bury” it or try to kill it. IMO, that does not work. What does is when you accept that you will always love him and accept that YOUR M and YOU are not failures. Remember…absence does make the heart grow fonder BUT first….
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Yes I am very angry at him.
…YOU will have to deal with this ^^^^
The reality is that YOU can choose to really try and let it go BUT only have to deal with it to some extent. Just remember, your not ALWAYS going to be angry. Ya can’t. Our bodies are really not built that way.
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I want him to leave me alone
Can you remind me WHO DETACHMENT IS FOR. You want him to leave you alone because you realize that you hurt, your realize that you still have anger to deal with. DETACH and HEAL and the anger and emotions will settle down.
When you heal and release the anger you will find yourself in a much better a place a place where you can begin to explore why you feel……
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yet I dont want him to.
Like this ^^^^
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Im scared to take time to just break down, afraid I may get stuck there.
Not sure if you have ever read my post to others….but you need to face the fear. You will get “stuck” if you do not face them AND cry/breakdown. Remember the pain, hurt and anger MUST have a way to get out. If you do not, well then it will come out in other ways….like a verbal confrontation with your H, your kids….do not be afraid to let it out. Personally, I would advice that you write it down. You can post it here if you want or just write it down for YOU. Get it out Kissak and DO NOT BE AFRAID.
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Im really just ready to move on/forward.
Why not change the way you look at this…say…
“I’m really just ready to HEAL, to GROW and to Let GO of the anger”…
That is moving forward…moving forward to a better place. A better place for YOU, for HIM and for YOUR kids.
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Trying to make some more new friends and just doing what I love.
Good idea. My only comment would be watch out for the “friends with benefits”. Your esteem, ego and overall emotional well being have taken a huge hit and the tendency (although usually not planned per se) is to find the comfort with a “special” friend. Think of it this way….do you honestly believe that YOU are ready to give YOU and I mean all of YOU to someone else right now? Even if you feel you may or may not be ready, consider this….would it be fair to the friend of yourself to not give all of you.
I pray for your healing Kissak.
Your stronger than you think.
Right now, it is okay to be a little weak and tired. Cry and let it out….
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
