Your quote: "Although I've never read the "5 languages of love", I know that these languages are: gifts, words of affirmation, services, quality time, and physical touch. Her language is primarily services. She wants a clean house. Words of affirmation are not accepted well--she either is embarrassed, dismissive, or just doesn't know what to do with a compliment or loving comment. Gifts -- she is definitely not a gift lover. Quality time? She is usually too busy, or too tired, and doesn't make this a priority for us, although she enjoys her quality time alone. Physical touch? Fuggetaboutit. So, I clean my a$$ off, do laundry, do the cooking, give the kid a bath, mow the yard, etc. (notice that I do both the traditional male and female gender chores), and don't get much in return. Perhaps she thinks by cleaning the house after I do so, she is showing me love in the way she would prefer to be shown"
I gasped when I read your message. Your wife is SO MUCH like mine, it is weird. So since they seem so similar let me ask you this: Does she still want you to give her hugs and other "non-sexual" affection? My wife loves to cuddle but no kissing (kissing is sexual, therefore bad and a tool to dominate women). I love to cuddle too but I hate it cuz it kills me. She goes off to sleep happily warm while I'm left aching for her with crazy thoughts racing through my head. Whenever I say "no, I can't handle this", she gets very defensive and starts the manipulation phrases like "You don't love me anymore". I respond "Of course I do but I burn with desire when you touch me! And you don't let me go beyond that. It's torture for me!"
