What's da haps, man?

[soleil]

We go to court on Monday.

And get this, I went to drop off everything at my lunch break and L said he'd come out but was taking too long so I had to leave.

Well he emails me in all caps asking where I am and etc. I called him and he was really rude and rushed on the phone w/ me. WTF! I spent lots of $ for him to represent me in my D and did not appreciate his tone at all. I asked him if he was ok and he said yes, and that stbx's L is being horrible, that he hasn't given one piece of paperwork he's requested from him and that it's "bullsh-t" per his words. I get that he's upset but I don't like feeling like I'm being damn rushed on the phone and talked to like that. Grr. What can I say to him? I didn't dig that at all.

I just want this D to be over and fast. Once again, I think about just signing the house to him to be over w/ this damned thing. I have days I wish I never would have met stbx. I know that's dramatic but I think of how different things would be now had I never met him and how I wouldn't be dealing with this crap. I seriously doubt I'd ever get married again. This whole thing is so exhausting!

IR, I like your idea about putting those journals in boxes though I think it's prob best to just burn them or destroy them/toss them away forever. I want no memories of all this ugliness. Hard to believe how completely in love with stbx I was, thinking he'd always be there for me, no matter what. Gah!

[quote=ImprovedRomeoAnd that day will come and it'll feel like a huge accomplishment when you get there because of all you will have endured to get there. [/quote]

That day can't get here soon enough!

[ImprovedRomeo]

Sol, that's aggravating about the Ls and it's best to be direct with them and tell them you expect a professional client/attorney relationship. He as an attorney should know how to handle these things if another attorney isn't cooperating. There are legal actions that can be taken as opposed to getting nutty with his client.

I understand this is draining you, all the paperwork, the anxiety of going to the court etc. I'm going through it too. So here's what I'll say about the house...is there anything you want from him in return? if there's nothing at all and all you want is the paperwork over with then go ahead let your attorney know and be done with it. Sometimes removing yourself from a bad experience is worth it even if it costs a little. I just don't know what else there might be that he won't want to give to you or will ask from you if you give into his demands.

Your L should be doing a lot more to help but I know a lot of them are worthless piles despite their initial promises and claims. Don't I know that.

[soleil]

Sol, that's aggravating about the Ls and it's best to be direct with them and tell them you expect a professional client/attorney relationship. He as an attorney should know how to handle these things if another attorney isn't cooperating. There are legal actions that can be taken as opposed to getting nutty with his client.

I understand this is draining you, all the paperwork, the anxiety of going to the court etc. I'm going through it too. So here's what I'll say about the house...is there anything you want from him in return? if there's nothing at all and all you want is the paperwork over with then go ahead let your attorney know and be done with it. Sometimes removing yourself from a bad experience is worth it even if it costs a little. I just don't know what else there might be that he won't want to give to you or will ask from you if you give into his demands.

Your L should be doing a lot more to help but I know a lot of them are worthless piles despite their initial promises and claims. Don't I know that.

LOL. Made me laugh.

There is nothing really that I want out of the house. I mean I still have a lot of stuff there, if stbx didn't throw it away. In late Aug I went by and got a painting that I adore (the day stbx was weirded out I left so fast). I would LOVE to have a settlement in exchange for me signing the house over (ideally)but I have a very huge feeling stbx is going to keep pulling up the hurry up and go to court, then withdraw his motion while we're there until I cave & have no $ left to fight him. GRR! I hope that greencard is still shiny... Now I sound bitter as hell, I know. But I am f@!#ng pissed. Can you tell?

I did email L back telling him he sounded very upset on the phone and I hope we can establish a good rapport so we can resolve this thing as quickly as possible.

I want to kick something suddenly

[ImprovedRomeo]

Sol, if your H is pulling this on-again off-again thing why don't you file a motion for *him* to show in court to resolve this?

Give him one chance to settle if he doesn't file a motion to go to trial, in and out in a few hours and be done.

I can tell you're pissed, when you see HG you can kick him and tell him you're just making sure he's awake and on his toes.

[soleil]

Oh how I'd love for him to give us what we had for! I was up all night typing up a 24-page doc he sent me that I had to fill out w/ all my info. Grr. I am on a rampage. Just so unfair how he hasn't submitted anything. So I emailed my L asking what can we do if he keeps this up, that I want this to be over fast, what his strategy is, and can we also sue him for some rent? Why not, right? Maybe I need to be more aggressive. It's all so annoying.

I have already told him numerous times I'd like to settle and ...no dice.

Serenity now!

[TimeHeals]

Oh how I'd love for him to give us what we had for! I was up all night typing up a 24-page doc he sent me that I had to

fill out w/ all my info. Grr. I am on a rampage. Just so unfair how he hasn't submitted anything. So I emailed my L asking what can we do if he keeps this up, that I want this to be over fast, what his strategy is, and can we also sue him for some rent? Why not, right? Maybe I need to be more aggressive. It's all so annoying.

I have already told him numerous times I'd like to settle and ...no dice.

Try this trick... enjoy the process.

Painting your house? It could be costly drudgery and frustration, or you could decide to enjoy the process and take real interest in every detail. It can even be spiritual if you decide it is.

So... isn't the whole process kind of interesting? And... if you really think about it... there's some entertainment value.

It's so weird how you can change your own perspective... just a little change makes a big difference.

If you struggle, it will be a struggle, but....

[soleil]

^ I don't get what you're saying...

I am supposed to enjoy being sued for mortgage on home and divorced by my husband? LOL. Sorry but it's not very enjoyable. I have mostly great days lately but they turn icky everytime he sends me over countless paperswork to fill out. I know it's part of the process but again, it's absolute BS that he hasn't submitted one single piece of info my L has asked him for in the past 2.5 months. He is D'ing me. You'd think he'd want this to be over w/ and soon......

[TimeHeals]

He is D'ing me. You'd think he'd want this to be over w/ and soon......

And that^^^ is the amusing part, no? There's real comedy material in there somewhere

[soleil]

Ok, yes you're right. It is hilarious, even if it's frustrating as hell. The man who wants the D is making it longer than necessary... you're right.. the jokes write themselves!

[ImprovedRomeo]

TH, in theory yes you could enjoy the process and make light of it. In few cases it works but when one person stands to lose so much it's not an easy feat. For example if you worked all your life and were a saver, while your wife spent every dime she had then at D time she wants more than half of what you saved you wouldn't enjoy that process would you? And if you say you would then you haven't gone through the experience.

In Sol's case it may seem easier because there's not a lot of assets to divide or kids involved but it's not an enjoyable experience. I understand what you're trying to say 'you have to do this whether you like it or not so why not make it easy on yourself and enjoy it' - in theory yes, but even if you're totally detached unless you have the upper hand in the legal proceedings it's just not an enjoyable process.

Sol, if he won't settle then file a motion to appear in front of the judge and be done with it- again not knowing the particulars and the laws in your state that would be my advice. Why don't you call a couple of other lawyers and say you're looking to do an attorney substitution here's where we're at how would they handle the case if you were to hire them? Get a couple of opinions. And your L better give you some straight answers what his next course of action will be or you really should go with another attorney. I know your court date is Mon and this is all too last min but it wouldn't hurt to call a couple of Ls in the next day or two just to get some ideas.

Hang in there...