Wow. I am thinking my 3 months of NC is coming up because as soon as the house transaction is over then she will have to dig deep for an excuse to contact me and after some of the stuff she has spouted I will not contact her. She told me she wanted to be left alone which is exactly what will happen.
Strange thing about reading some of this stuff is I always think well she is different, more determined etc and she would never come back but then I see her actions and they are identical to what a lot of people on this forum have seen.
My problem is I dont know if i could take her back or if she has burnt one bridge to many. Am i better off just writing her off and starting new. Not expecting anyone to answer that and it's just something time will tell. Right now i am just trying to understand what happened. The reasons she has given so far are BS. Unfortunately the ONLY person that really knows is not talking and maybe never will.
She told me she wanted to be left alone which is exactly what will happen.
You gave her what she wanted.
Soleil, Thats fine but after she got what she wanted why does she continue to be angry and take every opportunity to either badmouth me via emails or to her friends. It seems like now she is free, has her own place set up and has no reason to be concerned about me that she is getting even worse.
i told her "we are done" and i have no interest in listening to anymore of this $hit and yet it seems to keep coming at every opportunity. Its like she needs me to agree with her BS reasons. I told her I understand and respect that they are her reasons. Why should i agree with them. She is determined to lay all the reasons for the breakup on my S (11) and wants me to agree. This i cant do.
if I agreed the first thing she would do is run around telling everyone that i agreed that my S was the cause of the breakup and i wont do that to a child even at the expense of my M
Soleil, Thats fine but after she got what she wanted why does she continue to be angry and take every opportunity to either badmouth me via emails or to her friends. It seems like now she is free, has her own place set up and has no reason to be concerned about me that she is getting even worse.
Because it's the whole "can't live with/can't live w/o.' Believe me, she is very po'd that you are detaching/moving on. It's human nature/behavior. It's backwards as hell but that is the way it goes...
Originally Posted By: Khudoo
Its like she needs me to agree with her BS reasons.
..because she needs it to justify what she wanted... it makes it better for her/eases the blow in a way/the reality, etc.
Even though I have little or meaningful no contact with my W I do have to see her at some sports events that our S's take part in. My approach up to now had been to say Hi as i passed by and she was trying to ignore me as I felt it was kinda dumb not to even acknowledge someone you lived with for 8 yrs. Today i didn't notice her but she just walked by me without saying anything. she had to drive her car around mine as she was leaving and just stared right through me. Should I start doing the same or does it even matter.
Also I texted her S with some encouragement after the game again this is a kid I brought to all his sports games for 8 yrs. Is this bad or something she or you guys would interpret as pursuing
You run into her, say Hello. She stares, Wave with a big a$$ smile. You don't have to be the bad guy. Do you?
The whole point is you are cool and being true to yourself. Don't go out of your way to do any of this. Just be the better person when a sitch like this happens. In other words, don't stoop to her level.
I should have personally followed my own advice 3 weeks ago. LOL Now I do the "right thing" by me and for me.
