When - time that both of your energy levels are high
Where - neutral public place with some privacy, you want to sit across from her to make eye contact
What- be aware of the trigger issues and how to defuse them, it's OK to bring up the things that bother you, validate, ask her what she needs to feel loved.
Have an exit strategy.
What are your goals for the meeting?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.