She doesn't sound much like a feminist to me, more like a control freak. You wife wants to be able to tell you what you should and should not feel. No one should ever get reamed for being who they are and to tell a man who finds a Victoria's Secret model attractive that he is being dismissive of women is not being feminist, she is feeling threatened. She is using feminism to hide her own insecurities and to keep from having to admit her own frailties.
A feminist is comfortable with her womanhood. She doesn't feel the need to ream anyone or the least bit threatened by a man who finds women attractive. She has you so under her control that you are afraid to show facial expressions during a TV commercial. I think a better question would be why she feels the need to have such control and, more importantly why you feel it's OK to give it to her? Feminism is her shield and she is using it to keep you in line.
Where do you suppose her resentment of men comes from and why she tries so hard to keep them from having any connection with her? Cathy~
