You gotta do whatever you think will keep you sane. Although, I am one that would have said keep your options open in that dept. You never know when you might need intel not on an A but on her D activities.
As far as the credit cards, if your name is on them, you have the right to change the passwords if she won't cooperate. I think you'll hear a lot more of the "abuse" mantra so just be sure you're taking care of the basics. Next time she says anything about being sneaky or underhanded, point out that you are telling her what you intend to do based on her actions. If she wants the benefits of being a housewife then she needs to act like a housewife.
