As you can see from my thread, for the most part I have been doing really well.
Anyone who has followed my sitch would know I struggled with anxiety at different points. I have been largely anxiety free now for several months. Today it was back full force.
Well, it's pretty clear why.
H is not doing well and his life is falling apart. Some of that will affect me... particularly re: finances and kids.
And as detached as I finally have become... it is still hard to not be affected by this.
I have said in previous posts that I don't feel anything for him. In terms of the love I used to feel, that is true. But I am not a cold hearted b***h. I am a very compassionate, giving person... and I don't like to see anyone suffer.
Yes he "made his own bed". But it's still hard.
Anyway, I need to get my focus back on what I CAN control... me, my choices, the direction my life is going.
A friend who came to my party on Saturday told me how she noticed how calm and relaxed I was at the party. She also has walked with me through most of my sitch.
She said, "Rocked, I will never forget when you were laying on my couch completely traumatized and barely able to function... and now look at you!"
