WAW Using God III

[pigskin]

I am slightly amused by the email I got from my W today (paraphrasing):

"I was about to do benefit elections for work today and realized that now that you have your own benefits we should compare and see which company has the better deal for us. We should also probably look to figure out the "us" situation once and for all."

I had mentioned before when she did these elections to cover the end of 2010 that I found it strange that a woman seemingly bent on leaving me would be so concerned about what benefit options she elected.

After our talk 3 weeks ago where she revealed the conflict in her head, I decided to just completely back off and let it play out. With me being ready and comfortable with any outcome, I thought that the upcoming holidays would start to weigh on her, and eventually she was going to have to face that. Funny that benefit elections played into it as well.

So I told her I would sit down and go over the stuff Saturday night.

Now if you asked me to lay odds on what I think the outcome will be, I honestly could not do so. I have absolutely no idea what she is going to say. It's almost to the point where I am laughing about how uncertain it is.

However, I also realize that we've had so many "last gasps" that they are almost meaningless. If she wants to divorce I will agree with her. If she wants to reconcile, I will agree with her, but also lay down a list of things that are going to have to happen to make that a reality.

Before I saw her email, I asked her if she could pick the kids up from daycare since I was running late from work, and she did so. I appreciated it and gave her a hug when I came in the door (she brought them back to the house). She seemed to be in a good mood.

I still pray for her each day, and ask that she be healed from her depression to where she could recognize the truth and perhaps come to the realization that what she is doing is wrong. While she may choose to continue down her path, I still know that prayer is making a difference.