"I just don't know how much time I should wait before I start looking for some kind of positive sign."
There's never a definite "time period". It's up to you how long you want to stay in this.
"Seriously he said this stuff, and she said the way he looked at her made her feel special."
If you're saying this sarcastically, then you haven't learned anything. This is what she needed/needs.
"I've tried to address all those issues as best I can and show her that she really is the most important thing in my life, and that I love spending time with her..."
She doesn't want it now from you because you weren't providing her with it before. Right now when you do it, it's being clingy and needy.
"But it's quite difficult when we don't live together anymore, don't talk much, and doing too much would be pursuing."
Well the OM was able to make her feel like her soulmate and he doesn't even live around her. So you don't need physical closeness to touch your W's emotions.
When you are with her, are you lighthearted and confident or do you interact with her like a puppy dog trying to get your master's attention? Have you been leading or following?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
