Don't forget that you can make some progress just by making sure that you see and acknowledge it when your spouse tries to show love in their language, even if it's not yours.
My wife sets great store by acts of service. That's not really my way of showing love, but now that I know that about her, I make a point to acknowledge that I get it when she does things like make my lunch. For her, that's not just doing me a favor, it's a way to show me that she loves me, so I don't say "Thanks." I say, "Thanks, baby, I love you too." I also do things like laundry, putting gas in her car, and setting up the coffee maker each night so that we have fresh coffee in the morning, so that she gets love in her language.
For her part, she makes a point of touching me, putting her hands on me, sitting on my lap, snuggling on the couch . . . and she also makes a point of acknowledging how good it feels when I massage her neck or her shoulders or just give her a big squeeze. That way I get love in my own language, but I also get to show love in my own language, and they both help.
