According to these legal documents my marriage is "irretrievably broken"
I have 23 days to respond and 45 days to complete a "transparenting" class and 45 days to complete a financial disclosure document (12 pages)
25 - I truly don't mean to be frustrating anyone by seeming to "not get it" - truly! I print off these threads / read and highlight / re-read and highlight - you get the drill. Your guidance is dead on - I know that. I feel fairly confident that I have been GALing - taking exercise classes, going out with kids and friends, completing some home projects.
Admittedly I get stuck sometimes. I allow myself for moments to believe that I was the cause of his sexual addiction. And I keep him on the pedestal - believing that I somehow "caused" this. Rationally I know I didn't. Rationally I know I've done EVERYTHING I could possibly do to save our marriage. I use this board to purge a lot of the insecurities and insanity from 7 years of this insidious addiction destroying my life and my family. It's not like I can pronounce to the world "H is a sex addict and marriage inhibits his fixes" - Do I know a statement like this minimizes other issues - some valid, some not? Probably - but somehow I have 3 beautiful, talented, genuinely good kids who thought we had something special - and they were proud of what we had. Something had to have been right.
25 - I still respect my husband. I agree that leaving a paved road home is important. His behavior in public is causing others to develop their own opinions. I can't help that. I don't break down in public. As I have moved to start going out a little bit more - I remain upbeat and positive.
I know I am still grieving. Don't know for how long. I am totally appreciative for you sharing your experiences and what I consider "expertise" in this God awful state. I do not feel hopeless - a little bruised (yes, ego too:)) - but not broken.
Thanks for listening and giving - I really love you all!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
