Wife abandoned me...Now What?

[Mike.4545]

It's hard to say about the connection. Sometimes I feel a slight amount, and other times not so much. More often then not, she feels distant, but sometimes I get a short warm feeling from her.

Her affair lasted about 4 months, and she has been without contact also for 4 months now. I just don't know how much time I should wait before I start looking for some kind of positive sign.

I'm not terribly sure what her relationship with the OM had that ours didn't...Probably emotional closeness as it started as an emotional relationship mostly through email and phone calls talking about problems she had with out relationship. Those are as follows:

1. I didn't go to bed at the same time as her very often
2. She thought I always put spending time with friends before her
3. I didn't take her on dates very often
4. She didn't feel like I enjoyed spending time with her
5. Overall that I just didn't spend enough time with her or make her the #1 priority in my life

So this other guy gets in her ear saying he didn't know what I was thinking, that he would spend every waking hour with her, would always go to bed at the same time as her no matter what, would never leave her alone to spend time with friends etc. Seriously he said this stuff, and she said the way he looked at her made her feel special.

I've tried to address all those issues as best I can and show her that she really is the most important thing in my life, and that I love spending time with her...But it's quite difficult when we don't live together anymore, don't talk much, and doing too much would be pursuing.