The thing about shar-peis. A firm hand from when they are puppies is a good thing. Problem: they are cute as heck as puppies, and female humans make them into lap dogs, and this means you have a lifetime of trying to enforce boundaries ahead in their adult life.
They are strong-willed and intelligent dogs. They will train you if you let them
I catch them doing this all of the time. For a while, to get them to come inside, I'd offer them a MilkBone, and this lead to them coming to the back door like they wanted inside, but if I opened the door, they'd just stand there... until I said, "Bone".
They had taught me a trick: go to the door, stand there when he opens it, and he will offer a bone. Good boy, good boy.
At any rate. Patience, persistence, and everday is just another step on the path to establishing alpha status firmly, and it will be tested.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
They are strong-willed and intelligent dogs. They will train you if you let them
My Beagles trained me to detach. They now do whatever they want. There is no door in the house they won't open. They won't ask for anything, just help themselves.
I know what you mean by regaining the alpha status.
Rainy day. No dog walking today. W is bringing home Chinese take out.
Firmer plans: Celtic Festival this weekend. Dane Cook at the Fedex Forum on the 14th--floor tickets. Thanksgiving with my relatives in Texas. Christmas with her relatives in Atlanta.
I have not scheduled any practical stuff. Need to start some planning on the more practical side soon.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Morning thoughts on pivotal moments in letting go:
There was a point when it occurred to me that even though I didn't want my marriage to get into the kind of trouble it was in last year, that is was what it was... so I might as well enjoy it as much as possible.
It's a hard state of mind to put into words. We were divorcing, but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy myself even in troublesome interactions.
Once that kicked in... in all honesty... the difficulty was more about not appearing flippant about the whole situation
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I am going to have to re read you sitch. I just recieved the D papers today and will meet with stbxw and L next Tuesday. This will be the first time that I have seen or spoken with stbxw since July 4th and I have to see the Cary Grant moves that you pulled off to stay cool and collected .
I believe a healthy marriage takes two people with healthy boundaries, good communication skills, an understanding that you have to work to keep attraction alive in a marriage, and so on.
Content aimed at actualizing LBS's self-esteem, detaching with empathy, acting according to principles rather than fear or anger, and building good, healthy boundaires has been targeted sometimes for censorship for some unknown reason.
That being the case, there is nothing for me to learn here that applies to me. I am not divorced and bitter/angry, do not need divorced guy dating advice, do not even understand some of what I would call "shockingly codependent" martyrdom, and so on.
Good luck to you all, but going over to the same place everyone else is going.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
