Wife abandoned me...Now What?

[Mike.4545]

Well I haven't posted on this thread in quite some time. I took my thread over to the Infidelity section to get help but all those threads have since been removed.

It's now been about 7 months since the bomb, and 4 months since my W ended her affair...or at least stopped communication with the OM. She agreed to transparency to show this.

My wife has only been to our counselor twice and doesn't seem too inclined to return. I've kept myself from pursuing behavior as much as possible, I've been GAL, showing her a better, upbeat & positive me whenever we interact, and we only communicate maybe 1 or 2 times a week...usually just short notes via email about our dog, the house, etc.

I'm really trying to be patient as much as I possibly can, but have to say that I'm struggling very much right now to continue. There just doesn't seem to be any progress and it's really wearing on me. She hasn't discussed anything about divorce for a few months, but I feel like she's just trying to give me time to get back on my feet before she files. She says she still feels the same, yet she hasn't taken any steps to actually help our situation. It's like she's just sitting around waiting for something in her to change and I know it just doesn't work like that. She's still friendly with me, asks how I'm doing from time-to-time, bought be a card, present, and cake for my birthday, but is at the same time, still distant.

I really don't know what to do right now. Keep waiting, encourage her to continue counseling, let her go and move on?