So we meet with the Mediator next Tuesday it will be the first time that my stbxw and I have seen or spoken with each other since July 4th. I hope that I have detached enough to pull off calm cool and collected.
You'll be fine. Just keep level-headed.
I was trying to find your thread for a minute and couldn't!
I started going through everyone's posts to see where they are at and adding my sarcastic humor as sort of a stress relief. I hope I have not offended anyone. I am sort of preparing for this meeting by peppering in a little Cary Grant as Time would suggest.
Today I meet with a Mediation L and with my stbxw. This will be the first time that I have seen her or spoken to her face to face since July 4th of this year. I feel like I have successfully detached from her and in fact really do not want to see her...she is but a distant memory to me. However, I need to rid myself of her so that I can pursue other interests. As Time often said "It's okay to let go" and I am truly content with that.
I came to this site as a complete disaster and over time with the guideance from many of you I was able to focus on what was important in a M and that is...me. I realized that DB'ing and GAL were all about making me happy, healthy, whole so that I can endure the trials and tribulations that lay a head. As well as bring into a new R/M a different perspective and strategies to prevent future issues.
I have changed quite a bit in the few months that I have been on this site. I am happier because I know that there is a great life out there and I am livin it! I have lost 95lbs and went from a 44/46 to a 34/36 and I am back doing cardio and weights...both help when you are dating And I know the jury is out regarding dating while M. Well unfortunately as much as I would want to work on my M my W does not appear a bit interested. So I think it okay for me to date...
I am not anticipating any fireworks in regard to this meeting, but I will hold my ground in the best Cary Grant style.
remember this is business. check your emotions at the door. you will be fine.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I think I did pretty well. I arrived to the L office a few minutes early and chit chatted with the L. His last name is very similar to mine, so I told him that his name was spelled incorrectly and that he needed to hire a L to have it legally changed.
STBXW was late and in fact I saw her from the 2nd story window of the lawyers office as she was walking past. I opened the window and directed her to the proper entrance to office. Anyway, when I saw her there was no emotion from me (DETACHED!!!) she had gained some weight her hair was up and in a mess (she works nights now) so that could be the reason. Anyway, she took notice of my changes and told me that I looked great! And all I said was thanks...I probably should have returned the compliment, but it didn't dawn on me to, which is not natural for me.
As the L was filling out the paper work I tried to pepper in a few Cary Grantisms;example, L asked so you were M in Vegas? I replied yes and I lost the gamble. This made everyone smile and take the tension down a few notches.
As if on cue one of the ladies that I have been dating texted me arranging to meet me tonight (I honestly did not set this up). STBXW took notice and began leaning towards me to see what I was texting and to whom. I did not know if this was a good idea or not then I thought what would robx do. So as the L was working on the paperwork with stbxw I texted the lady back and we texted back and forth numerous times. I had this Cheshire cat smile on my face, which I could see was annoying stbxw. But I could not stop I was thinking how ironic this whole situation was.
Anyway, I we had already divided up our assest and liabilities so our D is simple so I will not see stbxw until March at the D proceedings. However, I will still keep DB'ing because as they say it is not over until it is over. STBXW saw a different H than she saw in July. I am happier and a lot thinner and I looked and felt confident, poised and carried off strength...I survived or I'm surviving. I saw a different W than I saw in July a little disheveled probably because she was getting ready for work, but not as confident in her actions. Anyway, I have a date tonight and my dance card is full every night this week...I am not sure if I can afford this dating stuff for too long...but it is fun!!!
And I know the jury is out regarding dating while M. Well unfortunately as much as I would want to work on my M my W does not appear a bit interested. So I think it okay for me to date...
