Things are going good here. W wants me to escort her to her son's wedding and she has pretty much given me all info about her where abouts over the last 8 weeks. Has showed me pics of her girls weekend and the fact she hung with her cousin a couple weekends with pics. I have not asked about OG, well any details and she has not given any details other than he was an escape and meant nothing to her. The rest we will discuss in CO office.
Last night she said she is going to give me a key to her place when I see her Wed. I did not even suggest it and even asked her if she was sure? She said yes in case I ever want to come over before she gets home. I think that's pretty transparent? Where as before she would not even talk about any future, she is making "plans" to spend time together, asked me my scheduale so we can take some days off together. Wished me a happy b-day this morning and wants to take me out Friday.
My question is how detailed should I get about affair in Co office? Since it was short lived and there seems to be little or no emotion about it I'm not sure what I want to hear?
There are two aspects to your questions about OG. 1) For you. What do you want/need to know to move ahead? You have to determine that. It is very difficult to listen too, so that is a personal decision that I don't think anyone here can tell you what to do
2) For her. Your W needs to deal with it. There is little emotion about it now, but that doesn't mean there won't be in the future. You seem to know very little about what went on, how she felt, how attached she was or wasn't. Probably a good things for her to work through with a C.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Things are going good here. W wants me to escort her to her son's wedding and she has pretty much given me all info about her where abouts over the last 8 weeks. Has showed me pics of her girls weekend and the fact she hung with her cousin a couple weekends with pics. I have not asked about OG, well any details and she has not given any details other than he was an escape and meant nothing to her. The rest we will discuss in CO office.
Last night she said she is going to give me a key to her place when I see her Wed. I did not even suggest it and even asked her if she was sure? She said yes in case I ever want to come over before she gets home. I think that's pretty transparent? Where as before she would not even talk about any future, she is making "plans" to spend time together, asked me my scheduale so we can take some days off together. Wished me a happy b-day this morning and wants to take me out Friday.
My question is how detailed should I get about affair in Co office? Since it was short lived and there seems to be little or no emotion about it I'm not sure what I want to hear?
As detailed as you want. You need to prob get into why she fel the need to step out, etc. If you don't want details of the physical stuff, tell her but go as deep as you want into it.
I really just want to know for fact that it was short term and there was nothing behind it, no feelings etc. She reiterated about the key today, says she wants me to have it. We have plans for the weekend. M-today 49 W-38 M-9yrs no kids Bomb-labor day W/E Moved out 1 week later 9 weeks things are looking up
I really just want to know for fact that it was short term and there was nothing behind it, no feelings etc.
You need to discuss this with your MC first. You need to be able to articulate this to your wife in a non-threatening way.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Good idea Coach! I don't know how to approach it at all? I mean I don't want details, just enough to let me know it was not serious for her. A side note. I noticed W insists on seeing me on Thursdays, even wants me to spend the night. Now I was going to local pub on Thurs and hanging with the ladies playing trivia night. They were trying to set me up. Yeah I told her a few weeks back!! Hmmmmmmmmmm
I mean I don't want details, just enough to let me know it was not serious for her.
I think you want her to tell you what you want to hear. At some point she may very well look back at it and think to herself, "What was I thinking. There was never anything there".
But... at one point it was "serious" enough to think about walking out on her marriage.
I think talking to your counselor about this before you approach her is probably a good idea.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
A side note. I noticed W insists on seeing me on Thursdays, even wants me to spend the night. Now I was going to local pub on Thurs and hanging with the ladies playing trivia night. They were trying to set me up. Yeah I told her a few weeks back!! Hmmmmmmmmmm
Yeah, "hmmmmm" indeed, Atoss. Guess you have a decision to make about who you want to control your Thursdays going forward, hunh.
Hmmmmm, seems like control. I tend to be very cynical with the WAW. Just so many bad examples. Maybe you need to be more unavailable or only available on other days. It does seem like there are positive steps, but beware the tagging and gas-lighting.
The counselor should help you through the approach and strategy.
