I'm not comfortable revealing any more numbers. It's embarrasing that I've let myself get to this point. My pattern has to been to slowly pay down the debt, but carry balances. The problem is we don't (used to) have savings for unemployment. I do need to be grateful that my W had a part-time job during this time, so things could have been much worse.
The banks have been quite generous to my W and I (and probably many people) with credit over the years. One bank is now "shortening my credit leash." My W acknowledged the email, and said to let her know if there were any problems. My plan is to get at least a short-term savings account building, for minor emergencies. We will begin slowly paying down debt. I will return to occassional credit card use, and pay for miscellaneous expenses with cash.. We're going to need a plan to address the unresolved debt problem. I'll give her time to get settled in her new job. I think the next step is to meet with our financial planner for a reality check and to make some changes in our patterns.
The goal (if it's realistic) would be to pay down debt, yet still be able to take two affordable vacations per year, and continue with dance lessons. I don't think we need anything significantly material beyond that. We have a modest mortgage, and drive used cars.
Tonight is our ballroom venue. We'll see if my W is up to it. I've been working on my own in the mornings, and late at night on my own steps, to prepare for joint practice sessions. The plan is to dance with other woman, if my W has an episode of unpleasantness, rather than shut down. I will give her priority, but still mix with others. The plan is to work on being respectful and attentive without being overly accommodating.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
