I'm sorry DB. I dont understand what you mean by "i am not going to be the type of guy who detatches and just let her do whatever she wants with out any consequences"
Where in my post did I say this?
I am saying that this IS the type of guy you have been based on what you wrote in your post and it is obviously not working.
You asre absolutely right that by you not following thru with your boundaries YOU have helped create this situation.
Regardless, of how things have gone before. It is time for you to truly DETACH and let her go do whatever she wants to do knowing fully well that you will not support her or any of her choices. You have to DETACH which means you have to stop caring what she thinks or does. You have to stop making threats. You have to set boundaries and stick to them. You have to make a list of short and long term goals for yourself and FOLLOW THRU with them.
You have to stop the passive-aggressive behavior and starting thinking RATIONALLY about YOUR future for you and the kids.
I agree. Get a lawyer. File for D. Get a solid custody agreement in place. Then back off and get on with your life. She wont even begin to work on herself until she feels that you are no longer available and an option in her life.
