Sandi - Help me. How was she saying goodbye? I just don't see it. Isn't validating what I'm supposed to be? What should I have done differently?
Help, please. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
You did the right thing, but you had the wrong expectations. Then, you pressed the counseling thing which was a reversal. (The wrong thing) If you pull, they pull away harder. If you let go, they don't have to pull away so hard which ULTIMATELY may be to your advantage. That doesn't mean that if you validate she's going to do an immediate 180, though.
Tank, she didn't come to this overnight and she's not likely to reverse any time soon. This is a "long haul" process with no guarantees that you will be successful. That's why GALing and moving on is the best idea. It prepares you for a future without her and gives her an opportunity to look at the R in a more objective manner since she can stop trying to convince you (and reinforcing in herself) that the R is over.
