New thread - starting the protection phase!

[gutwrenching]

H4L
Enough. Come on. Read what you wrote.

Why do I even give the time of day to the man who left our M and is destroying our family?

I totally lose sight of what I want, what I think is right, what my feelings are.

I'm such a codependant I make myself sick

He is playing you, you know that. There is no crisis in his life. He has been abusive, disrespectful, mean, cruel, substance abuse and he has continually tried to kill your self esteem. He shows no remorse ever, and is only nice to you when it works to his advantage. You have a lawyer, use the lawyer. Go back to NC/Dark. Don't ever be around or talk to him without your Dad there.

Do what works. That is what works for you. You are strong.
Don't even give him the respect to tell him to take a flying leap; he doesn't deserve it right now. NC.

You have given him more chances than one can count. You can look yourself in the mirror and know you gave it every last effort. But look at what he does to your son...you said your son is starting to show signs of what this has done to him. What do you think it'll do to him to get confused even more to see mom/dad nice for a few days (which is all it will be) and then back to the verbal abuse and nastiness.

Ugh it's so much easier to be NC.

So do it. Stop thinking about it and do it. NC. NC. NC. NC. This is FOR YOU. It isn't a tactic, H4L, I'm so sorry but you are not in place to use tactics, this is self preservation time. Remember the title of this thread...the PROTECTION PHASE. So protect!

If you have to have contact for your son, you dad should be there with you. If it deals with legal things, your lawyer talks to him. You don't even respond to say talk to my lawyer.