online dating tips, do-over

[flowmom]

reposting thoughts on my strategy for attracting the kind of guy I want:

Since I was looking for a confident man who was willing to pursue me, I decided not to initiate contact on the dating site...and I mostly stuck to my rule. Guitarist made the first contact by sending a message, not a wink/smile. I liked that . That showed confidence...and he's continued to show confidence since then. I love that! And he has definitely pursued me, including phoning me to see if I was still attached the day after M broke up with me. So think of how important those things are to you.

Guys, even if you are not feeling confident, you can fake it until you make it. Put yourself out there and don't rely on women to smile/wink/message you. Many women won't bother because there is general agreement that it's the guy's job. Don't shoot the messenger...I'm just saying. Don't smile/wink yourself. Just send a friendly, short message that shows that you've read their profile and see if they reply. Refuse to take their responses personally since they haven't even met you. It's amazing how childish and pouty so many men acted when I politely responded that I wasn't interested and wished them luck. The guys who responded in a classy way stood out in a good way. Be that classy guy.

My new boyfriend says that he didn't used to be confident around women, but is now (while still being respectful). A recently acquired skill at the ripe old age of 49! Figure out what you have to offer and feel good about that. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in men. There are plenty of unfit, unhandsome, poor, and strange men who attract great women because of their confidence.