OK, seriously, now's the time to do some real DBing: GAL, detach, listen, validate, grow, lead, man-up, ... You will need to take SMALL steps on each of these fronts to find out what works in your sitch. All these confounded nuances about validating without agreeing, being a cat whisperer when you're like a dog and your W is like a cat who leads with her her feelings like a dog does with his nose, leading without controlling, treating a woman like an equal when she behaves like a child, ... And see a lawyer ASAP. I bet everyone in these situations had a very hard time making any sense of all this if they even had a chance to use it. It may take many months, things will probably get worse before they get better. You have your chance now so go for it - fire on all cylinders!
