(((IDU))) You are doing the tough stuff and I'm glad for you.
Please stop being hard on yourself for not changing faster. Remember there were reasons for what you did in the past, and there are reasons for learning new skills and applying them now.
It's important to understand the process of change. From wikipedia:
Quote:
Four stages of competence
1. Unconscious Incompetence [this was your stage of asserting yourself during the M]
The individual neither understands nor knows how to do something, nor recognizes the deficit, nor has a desire to address it.
2. Conscious Incompetence [this was you in the early stage of DBing, realizing that you needed to become more assertive but not being able to act yet]
Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, he or she does recognize the deficit, without yet addressing it.
3. Conscious Competence [IDU in the present]
The individual understands or knows how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires a great deal of consciousness or concentration.
4. Unconscious Competence [IDU in the future :)]
The individual has had so much practice with a skill that it becomes "second nature" and can be performed easily (often without concentrating too deeply). He or she may or may not be able to teach it to others, depending upon how and when it was learned.
So give yourself a break and appreciate your own process. You are doing really well
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
