In the process

[v1olin]

Finding one might be easy but catching them might not be.

[Reincarnated]

ewww.. I don't want to wade through chum.

Just watched Jaws with the kids on Thursday night.

"I think we need a bigger boat."

[newmama]

zoobrew replied (paraphrased) that he was confused by what I was talking about. He asked if it was wrong to be able to say hi from time to time.

At this point I was kind of embarrassed because maybe he really just wanted to say hi with no strings attached. So I said
ok. well I hope you don't regret saying hi now that I have made such a big deal over it.

He replied something like he will never ever regret saying hi, or talking to me or seeing me..;) that I am a very cool (and sexy) woman.

So I just said "thanks for the kind words. I think you are sexy and awesome too!"

and that was that.
SIGH. No harm done--guess the last time when I "dated" I was in my 20s and the only time I heard from someone that I "dated" post break up was for a booty call. So I assumed the same.

No damage done!

The helicopter pilot was excited to hear from me and asked if we could talk on the phone since it was faster. I will reply later tonight. He has a 3 year old son.

[Mrs. A]

Hahaha, NM, I accidentally didn't refresh my screen for a day and I ended up replying to something that was 3 pages old!

I see you are onward and upward - YES!

[flowmom]

OK, true confession time. I've been in helicopters quite often, and I usually get a crush on the pilot . I have to be flying with them to get the crush though. Helicopters are *great*.

Fun to hear about your adventures. "Plenty of fish" is the right attitude. Since I was looking for a confident man who was willing to pursue me, I decided not to initiate contact on the dating site...and I mostly stuck to my rule. Guitarist made the first contact with my sending a message, not a wink/smile. I liked that . That showed confidence...and he's continued to show confidence since then. I love that! And he has definitely pursued me, including phoning me to see if I was still attached the day after M broke up with me. So think of how important those things are to you.

[flowmom]

Hey newmama, what type of things catch your eye about a guy when you decide to send them a "wink"? As a guy who has just started the whole internet dating thing I am curious what it is women look for.

I'll chime in too:

* a handsome face with a lot of character (not generic attractiveness)

* a casual fully clothed full body shot to confirm self-description of body type

* no bitterness about dating, women, exes, etc (you'd be surprised how common this is)

* shows some evidence of passion (often expressed through strong interests or career passion -- but not necessary to spell out career exactly).

* willing to get with the program -- you're on an online dating site...no one likes having to describe and sell themselves but that's part of the deal so don't waste your profile bandwidth on that

* most men are probably not as boring as they come off in their profiles. get feedback from people who know you IRL!

I tried to avoid describing myself, because it often sounds really flat and generic when people describe themselves. Instead I tried to give a snapshot of the highlights of my last couple of weeks. Instead of saying that I like to have fun (who doesn't?) I tried to show how I WAS having fun.

This was my profile...I think I got a pretty good response.

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." -- Dorothy Parker

Highlights from my last couple of weeks: Camping with awesome friends at a roots & groove festival. Rare steak and mojitos in XXXX Harbour. Tromping through the bush for a couple of days...survived two bear encounters but got covered in mud in a swamp

My interests and activities include: hiking, unique friends, jazz, global music, rock/pop, nature in all its glory, 20th century novels, the minutiae of daily life, geography, visual art, design, alternative health, psychology of happiness & productivity, spirituality including Buddhism, yoga, community living, urban strolling, travel, dancing, alternative education, and using dinner guests as guinea pigs.

A part-time career and two wonderful children keep me pretty busy, but not too busy for dating. If you're confident, manly, smart, and funny...I'd like to hear from you (35-52 year old XXXX area guys only please).

These are fresh photos of me.

[flowmom]

Newmama, you need an attractive body shot with your head. The number one complaint that men have about dating sites is that women's bodies are not as advertised so I think that a body shot is a must, with a note saying that it's a recent photo.

Congrats on reaching your goal weight!! That is so awesome. You don't need to worry about your tummy. When the attraction is there that stuff doesn't matter. Believe me, I'm a lot older than you. Two babies, lack of fitness, and gravity have taken their toll, but I haven't heard any complaints . I think that men most look at 1. overall weight and 2. proportions. So you have nothing to worry about . Only perfectionists will get hung up on firmness IMO. I find that men assume that I'm a lot fitter than I am because I'm at a good weight for me. I have a slightly active lifestyle but I lost weight through calorie counting, not exercise.

[Reincarnated]

flowmom - that is a great profile! I love the idea of what you have been doing, rather than "like." I might have to steal that

Can you post this over at the online tips thread I started, too?

[newmama]

Good idea, Flowmom, to describe what you have been up to rather than a generic list of descriptors

Well I just got back from my dinner with a girlfriend so it is too late to talk on the phone with helicopter pilot. I emailed him to let him know and asked if we could talk tomorrow night.

That's all for today!
I will let you know how it goes.

[v1olin]

Hi mama,, is it ok I call you mama for short? Maybe hotmama? anyways, how many winks does a woman get on a site like match in a day? Do they post somewhere on the site what the male to female ratio is on there?