WAW,,, wow

[Starsky309]

Pen~

WAW texts me to go to lunch if I am done when her lunch break is.

I complete my DR appointment and text her sure why not.

Next time try this "Thank you, maybe next time, I have plans in place that can't be changed."

Stop being the anchor for her to cling to, as long as you are willing to be "second best" you will continue to be "second best."

(((Hugs)))

Beat me to it, 13.

Starsky

[ShockedOne]

PB, you seem to be understanding now. You are too busy for lunch(or whatever else) unless it's for S9. She will eventually leave you alone or come out of the fog. Either way you need to reach the point of being fine for yourself. But as stated above, she needs to prove it to you.

[Pensacolabroken]

I understand.. I went from hoping she would return and not being even in the picture to second best.. I would prefer to not be in the picture. Those are my two choiced. I choose not to share.

simple really. Now action.

[Greek]

And remember that this OM business is like an addiction. If he's dumped her - or even if she's dumped him - there will be withdrawl (sobbing, mood swings, spew, melancholy, despair) until the chemicals in her brain balance out again. You must be an immovable wall as far as your boundary is concerned. "W, I want our M, but I will not settle for anything less than what I said: full transparency, you 'all in' our M, counseling together so we can work on our weak areas." No emotion. No anger. No punishments. Just your boundary and her choices.

Greek

[TimeHeals]

And remember that this OM business is like an addiction. If he's dumped her - or even if she's dumped him - there will be withdrawl

You know all the crazy stuff you did at first when you found out your wife might not want to be married to you?

She will do that kind of thing for OM. It ain't pretty.

[Greek]

And remember that this OM business is like an addiction. If he's dumped her - or even if she's dumped him - there will be withdrawl

You know all the crazy stuff you did at first when you found out your wife might not want to be married to you?

She will do that kind of thing for OM. It ain't pretty.

Right! And if one is PREPARED for it, and can see it for what it really is - sort of detach from the crazy display and not internalize any of what she says while going through it - much better off.
Greek

[Kimmie Lee]

Stop asking her, "What's wrong?"

STOP COMFORTING HER!

CUT OFF THE MONEY!! NOW.

If she throws a hissy, TOUGH!! And DO NOT DEFEND, EXPLAIN, or otherwise try to REASON with her.

The last thing you want to be is her GOOD-FOR-NOW-GUY.

You are making it easier for her to continue her disgusting behavior, and in the process, you look weak and unattractive to her. Women find wimps pathetic.

So, for the love of God, stop. Just stop. Please.

[Steve McQueen]

I am not flipping or flopping,

flipping and flopping would mean you are doing two different things. you are still the same.

[Pensacolabroken]

WAW came home yesterday and again sat there crying. Same chair outside on the porch. I walked outside put the rugs out ( I was sweeping the floor) and went back inside. I ignored her.

She made dinner and then came into my room where I was reading and sat on my bed. She started crying and then told me she does NOT want a divorce. She said she is scared but she wants to go to MC and work on the marriage... I was and am STUNNED.

She asked me to sleep with her last night. Not sexual, we just laid there. She told me she loved me, and she was sorry for hurting me and she didnt want to throw away 20 years. She had our rings and our wedding picture out. She got up this morning and told me again she Does not want a divorce and wants to repair the marriage and knows it will be a long process. She asked me not to give up and to not stop trying.

Now WTF!?:!

[konfuseeed]

Thats the kinda stuff you need to hear to even start. So thats cool.

Now, she needs to SHOW you she meant the things she said.