Change is in the air........

[MHL]

He said "No........She's not really someone that I intend to be with in a long-term R".

Why would he say this if he was not interested in you. Let's decipher what he is really saying.....

"I am with her right now but I need time to shake her off and I don't want to lose what I have with you right now."

Interesting perspective. Is this really what this translates to in manspeak???????? REALLY????? I hadn't thought of it this way. I really am clueless when it comes to what men think. I rely on the men here to try to gain insight into the male thought process...........kinda like a biologist characterizing a new species.
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AHHHHH, yeah!!!! and let me tell you something else, this was a golden opportunity to ask him WHY??

Look my W sat on the beach with OM#1 and bitched about her life and about me for hours on end and all he had to do is actively listen and actually offer advice to actually help her.

Yep, that is right, the guy that ended up taking my wife from me actually offered her help to fix her R with me. I can hear the conversation now, and her response "Gee, you are so easy to talk to....." and so it began.

It seems counter intuitive, BE HIS FRIEND.....for real. A real friend would ask him why the woman he is dating is not the one for him.

If I was a betting man, (and actually I am, LOL) I would say that when you and your XH met you would talk for hours on end about the most intimate details of your lives.......right???

PSSSSSTTTT, it happens in most new R's.......really stop and think about it, a girlfriend is telling you about this guy she just met and how they talk on the phone for hours on end.

He wants to talk about or better yet bitch about the woman he is with, [censored] who doesn't want to bitch about thier mate. No one sits around and goes on and on to someone of the opposite sex about how great thier mate is, if that were the case they would not be with you.....THEY WOULD BE WITH THIER MATE. DUH.

IS THE PICTURE BECOMING A LITTLE CLEARER NOW???????

sorry to raise my voice, hehehehehe.

Okay, hopefully you are getting the picture that this is a brand new thing between you and Mr. Goodattitude, but first it has to become a thing.

Use a blended approach between listening and validating whatever he is saying, and I do mean whatever!! Even if it is about the woman he is dating, and FLIRTING.

There are books out there on FLIRTING......GO BUY ONE TONIGHT, your central time and most book stores are open until 10pm so you got time.

Remember what I said about the movie a page or 2 ago???? Ask if he would like to do something with you otherthan table tennis. Go back and reread what I said.

You guys are going to play Wednesday, right??? So get a beer or a bite to eat afterwards, engage in conversation about his world and then pose the question and then the response I suggested.

Not sure I answered the your question up there about manspeak but I will leave you with this thought.......the book in question is "He's just not that into you"......He has seen the book, knows the title, do you think that he is inclined to verify the thoughts of whoever sent the book or maybe he is thinking about showing them how wrong they are.

Personally if I were him, it would piss me off and I would do the exact opposite of whatever someone else was thinking about me.

Make sense.......I hope so, cuz I think I confused myself...LMAO.

Cheers