No change in my sitch and I know the jury is out on whether to date or not, but I did go out on three dates on Saturday. The first date, which was a nice greet and meet at a local coffee shop also ended up being my third date.
The second date was with a lady whose profile picture was so different in facial features I did not recognize her when we met at the restaruant. Anyway, after the brief confusion we sat down ordered and began conversing to get to know one another. She told me that she is the type to be up front and honest all the while I am thinking "honest!" who is the lady you used for your profile pic?
Needless to say this lady had me drinking from a firehose and told me more than I really needed to know....First off she told me that she is bi-polar and she is taking meds for that and has diabetes and taking insulin for that. She told me that she got preganant at seventeen and did not finish high school...hmmm profile stated Bachelors degree and in education as a profession...so much for honesty. I was already numb by this time, but she continued with her past relationships and marriages. She told me that she lost her first husband to heroine, her second husband...honestly I cannot remember and her third husband went to prison for selling drugs...oh! then she told me that she had been raped twice as a teenager!
She had the audacity to asked me what I am looking for in a woman....and guess what I was thinking certainly not you!! I managed to politely finish our dinner...very difficult, but I think I was shell shocked by then...and escorted to her 1985 white and green ...maybe more rust than green Ford Maverick where I shook her hand and told her thank you for a nice evening...I know I lied on that one....thank god for hand sanitizers.
I think she should be commended, not for her dishonesty on the dating site, but for her honesty on the meetup: "Hey, I have made some bad choices and come with a lot of personal baggage and drama".
Which brings me to the most important part of dating: listening. Listen to what your date is telling you and not your own ego. In fact, comments like "tell me more" can be quite enlightening.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I wish I had the chance to ask tell me more, but the flood gates had opened by and all he!! was breaking loose. I agree that we all have skeletons in our closets in regard to bad choices; however, this poor lady had the Paris catacomb of skeletons in her closet!
STBXW just emailed me after weeks of silence wanting to meet with a Mediation L. I really do not even want to see or contact her so I am not sure what my response should be. I guess detaching is great when there is no contact, but when you here from your WAS your mind get scattered. Just need advice on the proper approach. Not really to get her back, but to respond properly.
She wants to set it up. Apparently, she is now working nights and wants to schedule a meeting early during the day when I am at work so that it is convienent for her. There is nothing to Mediate all of our assets and debts are in our own name we live in an apartment. So there is nothing to negotiate. I was going to tell her that I thought that it was great that she finally mada decsison and I support it, but will have to schedule after my workday.
So this is the email response that I thought about sending in response her email wanting to meet with a Mediator.
Thanks for the update; however, I am not sure why we need to go to a mediator since we have nothing to negotiate…no shared assets or liabilities. Also, I really do not plan to spend any of my own money on this nightmare and I really do not have an interest in seeing you or speaking with you as well. It has been six years this month that this nightmare began for me and you were right stating before you left that I need to start doing things for me that make me happy. Therefore leaving work to see a mediator/lawyer regarding this nightmare is not convenient for me. And if necessary I would prefer anytime after 5:00, which works better for me. Also, FYI ever since I made the decision not transfer to St. Petersburg, (I didn’t want to leave my boys) I have been keeping real busy in the evenings and this week it is really crazy, but a lot of fun! It is refreshing to be able to speak with someone who has the same intellect, class and where I do not have stop the conversation to provide a definition to a word that has more than one consonant. I wish this would have happened two years ago…
I know a little negative emotion in the end, but I thought a good kick in the a$$ when I have been more than cordial throughout this sitch was okay...this time.
certainly not you!! I managed to politely finish our dinner...very difficult, but I think I was shell shocked by then...and escorted to her 1985 white and green ...maybe more rust than green Ford Maverick where I shook her hand and told her thank you for a nice evening...I know I lied on that one....thank god for hand sanitizers.
