Always and Forever??????

[angel61]

I read everyone's post and it makes me so afraid.
I have been married 12 years now, and thought we had it good. Successful careers, supported him much along the way, one beautiful D, very smart, big house, great social life, Ok sex, plenty of family travel.
He was never affectionate but took good care of us. I complained about the lack of affection and demanded, and I could see he did try to be better. Then one day he tells me we should separate, because there was no more love in our marriage. Shock, anger, leading, begging - the whole shebang. No avail, everything made it worse. It was as though the good times never happened. But after discussing, we agreed not to separate until our D goes to college. he loves her to pieces.
Then I suspected an OW, but there was denial and more denial. I saw evidence - texts and calls. He admitted later. She lived outside the country, but she came here, now she lives around 700 miles away. She is younger by 13 yrs., blonde (we are Asian), very wealthy, divorcee.
My H asked for space, for freedom to do what he wants, but is OK with us staying together. I agreed, for the sake of staying together. Can't live without him, I think.
I am thinking maybe he has MLC, as it is very uncharacteristic - he is a responsible man, good dad, good provider.He is now obsessed with his looks, buys expensive clothes, works out.
Our family life right now seems normal but I check texts and emails and see how obsessed he is with the OW and am hurting so bad. I try the LRT in the book, as all the other steps did not work, and although it has restored peace at home and made me stronger, keeping me from crying too much and made me more functional, I don't know if I can keep it going.Its a roller coaster. EA has been going on now for around 6 months, and it seems to be getting deeper, and I have this urge to do something, I feel like exploding. Our life is a sham - we do things socially, pretend to friends, go to church. Inside I am crumbling. O don't know if this is better than just separating. But I can't handle taking care of D alone, too busy at work, plus I travel. he travels too. PLus I cannot bear the thought of hurting D, she is a tween and impressionable.
I need help, encouragement, some direction....