hey ref how about making a call a call on the jack ass comment.
buckle your chin straps boys, looks like we got some home cookin going on.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
hey ref how about making a call a call on the jack ass comment.
buckle your chin straps boys, looks like we got some home cookin going on.
Originally Posted By: Coach
My people call it humor.
Touche
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
First of all I want to apologize to Robx for saying you are a Jack A**..you are right,I dont even know you...secondly to all of the people I offended here by saying that,I was full of emotions from being served div.papers I guess I got caught up in the moment.
I had to do some serious praying about this,this is NOT how a woman of faith should of acted or spoken to anyone. I am very sorry to you all..this should teach me to think before I post anything in the future.
I have been doing this for a very long time and the papers were a huge disappointment because I am sure their marriage should be next.I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me.
Again.I should not of done that, I was and am crushed... Please accept my apologies......Irma
ILMN, I read your post and just want to let you know that I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time - it will get better eventually. No worries on the previous post & comment, I've heard worse (believe me) and I had a hunch that maybe it was a response based on something else going on at your end.
Take the recent events that have happened in your situation as a signal to take some time to focus on yourself, stop worrying about what your H is doing, it's his loss regardless if he's oblivious to this fact. Take care of yourself.
The last few words were very true for me, "... at your moment of truth",
I think I've described it as reaching your own "personal threshold", that imaginary line within you, the one where you finally cross it and it tips the scales in such a way that finally recognize and weigh your personal value, where you realize you are worth more/better than whatever your situation is, the day when someone finally wakes up from their self imposed slumber, when their eyes finally open to reality without being clouded by feelings, desires, hopes, dreams, etc. And it's not that those things are bad, they're essential to being human but you can't let those things distort whatever the current reality of your respective situation is.
This is kind of how my WAW described the day when she snapped and blew-up on me. She says she tried to make things work after that, but I think she was already done. Then I did the heavy pursuit thing and drove her off completely. Things can never be the same again.
For such a long time I allowed her to beat me up verbally, mentally & emotionally. I worked full-time, took care of the finances, did the lion's share of the household chores (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.) and when I would discuss this with her she would tear into me and tell me it didn't matter that I did everything. I have learned one universal truth, you cannot argue with women: they are too good at it and they usually win because men just aren't good at it. You end up feeling stupid (or at least I did every time) and in the end whatever logic you had to start the discussion was turned around and I wondered what the heck happened? If she spent every dime we had and I brought it up, it got turned around that I was poor at managing the finances. I even offered for her to take care of the finances and I wouldn't spend 1 red cent for a few months just to show that I wasn't the cause of our debt but she would never help with that, she couldn't care less.
Another problem is that she had low self-esteem and because I had very low self-esteem myself, the power struggle we had kept her on top. Bullies pick on weaker people when they're allowed because it pumps up their self-esteem to bully people with lower self-esteem - it allows them to get away with crap that normal people would never tolerate.
that was me. every word of it.
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I won't tolerate being walked all over ever again, be it with her or any one else in the future. I'm not going to walk around guarded and be the kind of person to attack first either but I'm going to establish boundaries and make sure they are respected and above all make sure that I love myself and respect myself and keep my self-esteem high. That is something any spouse in a troubled marriage should be doing. Don't ever grovel, beg or plead with your spouse when someone decides to end the marriage. You may not have been a perfect spouse but ever relationship has a dual responsibility: there are two of you, always remember that.
i had one of those moments recently where i had enough. my words were "i'm tired of being pushed around".
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I have also stopped bringing up the past, it's worthless to debate who did what in the past - that time is over, all you have is the present and you are in control of how you spend that time. My wife now talks about the past alot, possibly in attempts to show what I've done bad and why she acted the way she did.
this is important to move forward - m or no m.
robx - i'm not finished reading your thread yet. but i will later on. i found this board and your thread too late - by the time i found the boards, we had already sold our home. but you really show 'em how it's done.
